I’ve been holding off on this post for some months now. At first, I told myself that I needed some time to process. Then, I told myself it was because I wanted to wait until the official Listen to Your Mother videos hit YouTube. (That happened a week or two ago.) Now I’m running out of excuses, and I have to tell the truth. And the truth is, I’m afraid that anything I write cannot possibly be good enough to express how amazing this experience was, and how deeply I fell in love with these thirteen women.
It all started with an Audition back in February. The last time I auditioned for anything, I was 16 years old, and I could barely sing a note because I was shaking so hard. I think it was almost as traumatic for my choir director, Mr. Hammock, to watch as it was for me to be a part of. After that, I crawled back into the little writer garret inside my head and only took parts in things for which I knew I was already a shoe-in. For decades.
Then I read the announcement to get on the audition list for Portland’s inaugural Listen to Your Mother cast, and before I could even think about it, I had contacted the powers-that-be and got myself a midday call time to go stand up in front of strangers all by myself and read a piece of my own very personal writing and try not to cry.
When I arrived, I was greeted by the most gracious, open-hearted women; local LTYM producer Kelli Martinelli and director Carisa Miller. They made everything seems so effortless, and their responses to my audition were heartfelt and reassuring. I didn’t know when I left if I was in or not, but I felt good about what I had given them. And, just for the record, I did not cry... at the audition.
And so began an adventure that led me to the stage of a dimly lit, eighty-seven year old theater with scary-steep stage stairs, and into a company of women who have changed me forever.
It wasn’t the performance, or the rehearsals, or even the revelations that were shared that changed me. It was the Truth. It was feeling absolute trust in this gathered group of souls. That these women would handle my open heart gently. That they had implicit trust in me to do the same with theirs.
The closest thing I can come to, in terms of this world, is my memories of counseling at summer camp. Campers long gone, it was that moment at the end of the summer, in the calm dark, when everyone is staring into the fire and you know to your bones that this time is Important. Nothing else matters - not age or income or beauty. All that matters is that in that moment, you are all part of something bigger. Something perfect and complete. And yours forever. And so you stare into the fire harder, even when it burns your eyes, and you try to hold every spark and every gaze that meets yours like a living, breathing ember of light, burning its way onto your soul.
My reading at LTYM 2014 ↓
Watch the whole show here:
- Melissa Sher ~ An Open Letter to the Editors of the Oxford Dictionary
- Jenny Forrester ~ The Confession Jar
- Tracey Barnes Priestley ~ A Matter of Choice
- Jessica Peyton Roberts ~ Wait for Me
- Kelli Martinelli [Producer] ~ Underneath, We're All Naked
- Sage Cohen ~ Finding My Gold
- Nadia Martinez Chantry ~ Manifesto for Mothers
- Deb Stone ~ Mr. Potato Head's Secret Life
- Me ~ Reunion
- Carisa Miller [Director] ~ Your Seat Cushion May Be Used as a Flotation Device
- Meghan Yow ~ Five Words
- Clarissa Moll ~ You Are Not Alone
- Leanne Goolsby ~ Unexpectedly Expecting
- Nikki Schulak ~ Dentistry's Problem Children
Portland's Radio Room, one of LTYM generous sponsors, hosted our after-party on their patio. It was a welcome moment in the sun for us all. (So nice the weather cooperated!)
I loved your piece, and I love this post. And how awesome to be reading along and there you put a photo of me with my friends that day!! How special this is. Of course I know how much I love LTYM and hope that everyone would have an experience like this, so it means even more that you could put it into such beautiful words. This is IT! Thank you!!!
Steph
Beautiful reading, beautiful recap. Thank you, thank you, for all of this.
Oh Renee, I LOVE this re-cap. You captured it beautifully, in both words and images. I am forever grateful to have shared a stage with you.
This was great. That's so nice that you found a group of women that you can trust and that you just adored. What a great adventure you had with this project.
Beautiful. I was in the DC show, and your description of falling in love with the rest of the cast is spot on. These are experiences that won't leave us.
Wow. So inspirational and FUN. Congratulations... what a really moving, beautiful, and memorable opportunity!
What a wonderful recap! I missed LTYM and really wanted to get involved in it. I'm from Chicago and have been in Portland for a year, but Chicago's LTYM team is fantastic, so I knew here it would be as well. You've got a great photographer's eye and each picture captures the spirit of the moment. Also, thanks for the links to the performers, I can bounce through and get a taste of what I missed. 🙂
Such a beautiful recap! I'm so happy that you had such a wonderful experience. Thanks for sharing it!
All I can do is applaud how wonderfully you told this story of being part of this incredible experience and now click on all the links to listen watch the whole show. There needs to be more reasons and times for this kind of event and gathering of greatness to happen!
I had chills through all of this, Renee. "All that matters is that in that moment, you are all part of something bigger. Something perfect and complete. And yours forever." This was one of the most powerful and spontaneous synergies of sisterhood I've ever experienced. Honored and transformed, having shared this alchemy with you.
Dear, dear precious daughter. The Lord has blessed me beyond belief or understanding. Finding you and having you in my life pushes every challenge I faced up to the moment I held you in my arms again. It is true confirmation that He listened to my prayers and truly answers them. I have so much love in my heart for you that there are times I think it will burst. I know this presentation was very difficult for you and I am so proud of you for being able to do it. I am sure there are many girls and boy, women and men looking for their families, after seeing your courage and strength, that they too will the have hope and courage to continue searching. I love you so very much, Precious, so very much and am so proud to have you call me Mom and so thankful for your love for me. There will never be a more precious gift that the Lord can ever give me.
Love You So Very Much
Mom