Music has the power to comfort and uplift during life’s most difficult times. Each of these songs was carefully chosen to inspire and encourage those who mourn, as they celebrate and pay tribute to loved ones lost.
If you've ever had to choose the music for a funeral, memorial, or celebration of life for someone dear, you understand what a daunting task it can be. Over the past few years, Mr B and I have been given the chance to sing and/or play music at a handful of memorial services, and without exception, the hardest part is always choosing the perfect song.
When my little brother died last year - unexpectedly and far too young - we struggled to find a song that would celebrate his life without making everyone even sadder in the process. I went online to search for inspiration, but found nearly all of the songs suggested were depressing at best, and often profoundly heartbreaking. It was as if the guiding premise was:
Funerals (i.e., Memorials, Celebrations of Life, etc.) are sad. Super sad. In keeping with this theme, we only want to sing or hear songs that are going to make us even sadder (and/or make us feel terrible about ourselves) - because that's how our loved one would want us to honor and remember them.
~ Said No One Ever
I mean, I suppose that there are some people who expect their loved ones to wail and moan and be miserable indefinitely after they pass, but my little brother was not one of them. Nor were any of the other beloved family and friends we have lost in the last year or so. Each one of them lived a life that, as we remember them, reminds us daily to cherish one another, and count every moment a blessing.
The music we remember our loved ones by should reflect who they were, and comfort and uplift those who mourn. The song(s) you choose don’t have to be traditional funeral music. Choose songs for funerals that will have significance in some way to the person you are honoring.
Five Tips for Choosing Songs for Funerals
- Consider the person you are memorializing. What were some of his or her favorite songs or genre of music? What message or tone would they want their service to reflect?
- Carefully read the lyrics of each song you choose word by word, and be sure you are familiar with the entire song. Sometimes lyrics don’t say what you think they are saying, and a funeral is the last place you want to hear a song that doesn’t send the right message.
- Ask friends and/or family members for suggestions. They may have insight or ideas you never even thought of.
- Decide whether you will play prerecorded music or have a live performance. This can dramatically influence your choices.
- Consider the tone of the music, and how it fits with the mood you want to set at the service. Whether you are aiming for reflective, or comforting, or even celebratory, the music you choose will help set that tone.
In the process of choosing a song to play at my little brother's memorial, we put together a short list of songs for funerals, memorials, and celebrations of life that have a meaningful, uplifting message - and won't immediately make everyone in the room burst into tears. It certainly isn't an exhaustive list, but even if you don't find something on it that you can use, hopefully it will provide inspiration.
It is my hope you never need to use this list for its intended purpose, and that instead, it's just a sweet, easy-going (boomer-friendly) playlist. However, if you ever do need to choose songs for a funeral, it'll be here waiting.
10 Uplifting Songs for Funerals, Memorials & Celebrations of Life
- In My Life
- The Beatles • Written by John Lennon / Paul McCartney
- Listen: YouTube | Bette on YouTube [see note]
- The Beatles originally recorded this, but Bette Midler did a simply beautiful cover a few years back, accompanied by Jake Shimabukuro on ukulele.
- For a Dancer
- Jackson Browne
- Listen: YouTube
- This is the only song on the list that was actually written for a funeral, and is the one we played for my brother's memorial.
- Love, Me [If you Get There Before I Do]
- Collin Raye • Written by Max Troy Barnes / Donald R Ewing
- Listen: YouTube
- What a Wonderful World
- Louis Armstrong • Written by George Weiss / Robert Thiele
- Listen: YouTube
- When I Get Where I'm Going
- Brad Paisley| Written by George Teren • Rivers Rutherford
- Listen: YouTube
- How Can I Help You Say Goodbye
- Patty Loveless • Written by Burton Collins / Karen Taylor-Good
- Listen: YouTube
- Time of My Life
- Jennifer Warnes & Bill Medley • Written by John De Nicola / Donald Markowitz / Frank Previte
- Listen: YouTube
- You Were Loved
- Whitney Houston • Written by Diane Eve Warren
- Listen: YouTube
- Across the Great Divide
- Kate Wolf
- Listen: YouTube
- I Will Remember You
- Sarah McLachlan • Written by Sarah McLachlan / Seamus Egan / Dave Merenda
- Listen: YouTube
Rest in Peace, Bro. It's been a long year and we miss you.
For Music Lovers
If making music* is part of your life, check out our new music-focused website, The Melody Bridge. (*Singing the shower counts)
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Do you have a song that should be on this list? Please share your idea in the comments below.
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Lynn says
Thank you for sharing your wisdom with everyone. One song that should be added to your list is “Show Me Around” by Carly Pearce. My daughter heard it and shared it with me a few weeks after my husband, her father died of a sudden, massive heart attack while in the hospital recovering from surgery to remove a tumor from his colon. At first couple of listening, I cried like a baby. The more I listened, the better it made me feel. It’s been almost 2 years, and I still love the song; instead of making me sad, it reminds me that I will see him again, and it’ll be like the song says, “…we’ll pick back up like no time passed, yeah I pray it happens like that.”
Renée says
I am so sorry for your loss. 💔
Thank you for the song suggestion. I just had a listen and it's beautiful. I am in the process of compiling a second list for our new music-focused blog (The Melody Bridge) and I will be sure to put it on the list.
Kim says
Why do we not need to cry with picking music that is not sad? Emotions should never be held within. Sometimes tears from sadness while others are tears of laughter.
Hilary's mom
Renée says
Agreed.
Perhaps you misunderstood the intent here. This isn’t to suggest in any way that you hold your emotions in; however, some people prefer to use uplifting music at their celebration of life, instead of music that inspires additional grief. Hence, the title, “won’t make everyone sadder."
Nancy Johnson says
Thank you for the thoughtful message. Three of your suggestions were ones I had considered. I wanted an uplifting message, you have helped me make an appropriate choice.
Renée ♥ says
Thank you for your comment, Nancy. I'm so glad we were able to help. Choosing your goodbye song is never an easy thing to do.
Jasmine Watts says
This is a very sad moment and a difficult situation in ones life. A good song would somehow relieve the pain.
Renée ♥ says
Music does often bring a sense of peace in the moment.
Helen Little says
It's so important to choose personal, touching music that elevates, not depresses. I'm so sorry you lost your brother.
Renée ♥ says
Thank you.
aisasami says
My grandma had her favorite song, "Wind Beneath My Wings", played at her funeral. It was 14 yearsd ago but I cannot listen to the song or I will burst out crying now.
Renée ♥ says
I know just how you feel. ?
Rachel says
The Dirty Dancing song could be a fun video background song at a memorial.
Chelsea Pearl says
This is such a thoughtful list of songs! I love Brad Paisley, got to give that track a relisten.
Erin says
Thanks for sharing these song ideas!
MarciaF says
I’ve been to some funerals that had the most depressing music. This is a great list for people wondering what to use.
Leigh Suznovich says
These events are always so difficult. A playlist like this would help for sure!
Tami says
I'm going to cry regardless, but these are some wonderful choices. I especially love Time of My Life. I'll have to make a playlist for my husband in case I go first.
Renée ♥ says
The truth is, I'm going to cry too, always. But at least we don't have to make it worse by choosing songs that make people depressed on top of their sadness.
Paula @ I'm Busy Being Awesome says
This is a great playlist, no one wants to experience these events but music definitely helps